A quick break from the travel guides...

Last week for Show and Tell, I was brainstorming ways to share about my trip without making my friends sit through a Power Point presentation or smile and nod while I laughed at my own rambling stories about late nights in Thailand or transportation mishaps in Cambodia.

I started journaling key takeaways, or things I learned. These were mostly very cliche (it's funny how solo traveling yields similar anecdotes or "life lessons" from most people I've talked to, yet they feel so incredibly personal when they're your own).

One of the things I wrote down without much thought was "I am brave."

Bravery to me has always been manifested in the forms of skydiving, bungee jumping, or serving in the military. I've never done any of those things and over the course of 27 years, have very few (read: zero) stories that would make anyone stop in their tracks from a second-hand adrenaline rush.

But as with most things, bravery is relative. I have some friends who look at my trip and reply with, "why'd you only do two months?" while others are aghast that I would even have the desire to travel by myself. What I've realized is it doesn't matter. For me, my trip was stepping out of my comfort zone. My trip made ME feel braver, more independent, and stronger than I've probably ever felt.

So for Show and Tell we talked about labels. Labels given to us long ago by our siblings (mine would certainly be 'bossy') that we can't quite shake. Labels we give to ourselves after a bad experience or an ended relationship. And not to be preachy, but these labels are constantly changing, and it's so important to acknowledge that. To stay in tune with who we are today without saying "I can't" or "I'm not like that" before actually considering the idea or proposal.

After journaling about this, I found a line in Go Set a Watchman (so disappointing, but more on that some other day) that resonated with this idea. Scout's Uncle Jack tells her, "'Remember this also: it's always easy to see what we were, yesterday, ten years ago. It is hard to see what we are. If you can master that trick, you'll get along.'"

So maybe ten years ago I was bossy and right now I'm brave. It's exciting to think about what I can be next.

Northern Thailand: Pai

Ohhh, Pai. One of my happy places. San Francisco feels gloomy and stressful today so I'm mentally transporting myself to Art in Chai, where I spent countless (literally. The lady definitely thought I was a degenerate) hours reading, FaceTiming, and journaling while sipping delicious Chai lattes.

It's fair to say that I might be a bit biased towards Pai because this is the town where I met my best friends while traveling. I was randomly assigned to a four-person dorm at Common Grounds, and two of my three roommates were Jess and John, a Canadian couple with whom I would later travel most of Vietnam. We later met Saawan, an American who also became part of the Vietnam travel crew.

It's easy to make friends in Pai because there's not a ton to do there. If you dream of a relaxing vacation, choose Pai over any of the beaches of Southern Thailand. Common Grounds is a hippie paradise with hammocks and floor cushions covering the outdoor common area. It's a block away from the night market, which was one of the least aggressive in terms of locals vying for your attention. The night market goods were also generally craftier, more unique, and less cheap-y than some of the other cities. If there's room in your bag, I would recommend buying your souvenirs in Pai over any other city in Southeast Asia. (Bold statement alert.)

Pai is where travelers go to nurse motorcycle wounds and hangovers by chatting for hours in the pools of a waterfall, playing guitar at a hostel, and drinking casually in hammocks while listening to live music. I honestly feel so much calmer just thinking about being there.

Northern Thailand: Chiang Mai

While Southern Thailand can be somewhat polarizing (people either love the beaches and parties or feel scammed by the locals and overwhelmed by the crowds), most people I met while traveling fell in love with Northern Thailand. I didn't really have expectations for Chiang Mai or Pai (again, having no expectations is key) and I fell in love with both cities.

First of all, buy this map of Chiang Mai. My friend Naseem and I bought it on our first morning and discovered everything from tiny used bookstores to a lavish afternoon tea party at a swanky resort. We stayed at Hug Hostel, which I would highly recommend. It's that incredibly rare combination of clean and social, with a big, comfortable rec room for reading and lounging, and a bar downstairs with ping pong and unbeatable happy hour. The food in Chiang Mai is incredible -- I ate almost exclusively from street carts and never had a bad meal. We splurged on Western breakfast one morning here and believe it or not, the Eggs Benedict was just like at home.


In terms of activities in Chiang Mai, we rented a motorbike and drove out of town along the Mae Sa Loop (pro tip: the "waterfall" stop is not worth it at all) which was beautiful and so, so relaxing. There isn't one "must see," but it's pretty unique to drive along a road where you frequently see elephant crossing signs.

So that brings me to....elephants. Animal tourism is a hot topic of conversation in hostels in Thailand. The overwhelming response by people who have done their research is that tigers are never okay. So next time you see the notorious Tinder profile picture of the dude with the tiger...swipe left. The tigers are always heavily drugged...I mean seriously, they're TIGERS. They don't want to cuddle with humans.

Elephant tourism elicits mixed reactions. I did quite a bit of research and found an elephant farm, and while there I felt very comfortable and happy with my decision. We fed and bathed the elephants, learned about their care, and briefly rode them bare-backed without the basket that leaves cuts in the animals' backs. Another thing to look for when seeking a humane option is whether or not the animals perform. There were no elephants playing soccer for our entertainment at Patara. This day-long experience was a big splurge (I paid about $200), but when food and lodging are costing you $15/day and you can feel comfortable about the animal treatment, it's well worth the cost.

As with most activities you sign up for through hostels (and this was my experience everywhere), the company picks you up and drops you off at your hostel. On the way back from the elephant farm, our guide/driver/elephant trainer extraordinaire asked me if I wanted to go see some Chiang Mai soccer at the local stadium. My knee-jerk reaction was "no" but I quickly realized that opportunities like this are kind of the point of traveling.

I grabbed a friend from the hostel, met our new friend at the stadium, and enjoyed $3 tickets, $1 beers,  a rowdy Thai crowd, and a Chiang Mai victory. I'm happy this experience happened early on because it set the tone for a lot of yes-saying...which resulted in a truly unforgettable adventure.