My friend's getting married!

My old and dear friend, Lauren Itow, is getting married in June. For her bachelorette party this Saturday, we decided to make her a book of letters, stories, and pictures from her closest friends. This was a daunting task. I sat down to write, first a letter to Itow, then to Scott, and drew 8 gazillion blanks.  As a "single" 20 something, can I even begin to give advice on marriage? Do my thoughts on love and relationships count for anything? Should I talk about the time Itow and I kissed the same guy at senior prom, even though he was neither of our dates and how it's great she's come so far? <---ya, no. Here's what I came up with. Not perfect, who knows if it's appropriate, but it's from the heart.

Dear Itow and Scott,

I don't know much about marriage except for what I've observed from my parents, books, and movies. I started to write you both separate letters but I think the whole point of this marriage thing is that, while you will obviously maintain your individual identities that attracted you to the other in the first place, your lives are about to merge into a unidirectional, cohesive union. Itow's happiness will become Scott's, Scott's frustrations will rub off on Itow, etc., etc. So what I really want to say to each of you, to both of you, is that I wish you so, so much happiness and love in your impending adventure. 

I hope that you have lots of friends and lots of dinner parties, but that you always get butterflies when you catch each other's glance from across the table. 

I hope you ask for seconds of each other's cooking, even when you're testing recipes and they don't all turn out great. 

I hope that you can just hug, even when you're mad, instead of picking a battle you know isn't worth fighting ("Swallow your pride, you will not die, it's not poison" - Bob Dylan).

I hope you don't feel selfish in taking a romantic vacation alone and leaving your babies with Cynthia for a long weekend.

I hope you go to Paris together and take kissy pics under the Eiffel Tower, and do all the other cheesy, cliche romantic things you're supposed to do there. 

I hope you relentlessly support each other's efforts to find fulfilling careers, and always ask questions before raising eyebrows. 

I hope you both feel giddy whenever you eat fish tacos at a brewery or go to Sutro Baths.

I hope you have sex a lot. Like, all the time. 

I hope when you come home and see that there's nothing in the refrigerator and that there's laundry on the floor, instead of getting annoyed, you see it as an opportunity for a romantic gesture.

I hope you buy pretty underwear even when all Scott expects is Hanes. Scott, I hope you throw your boxers away when/if they get skidmarks.

I hope you don't fight in front of your kids. 

I hope you always maintain your love of music and your awesome gift for finding gems for the Valentine's Day CD. And I hope you always make the Valentines Day CD, and that Scott might even have some input.

I hope you remember your period of "rebellion" and all the things you learned from it -- the good, the bad and the ugly. Scott, I hope you embrace this as part of the wonderful woman you get to marry. 

I hope you both feel really lucky to have each other every single day. I hope your kids and your grandkids and maybe even your great-grandkids see that whenever they're with you.

Itow, I hope you know I'm always here for you, and Scott, in marrying one of my oldest and dearest friends, I am now here for you, too. CONGRATULATIONS, I'm rooting for you! :) 

Love you both,

Megan